Archive for March 1st, 2010

My Version of the Russian Tale “The Magic Ring”

Monday, March 1st, 2010

The Magic Ring (Adapted from Alexander Afanasiev, the great Russian collector of folktales) Once upon a time, there were three bachelor brothers who didn’t get along very well. After one big fight, they decided to divide their wealth. But the dividing was not fair, for the two eldest got almost everything, and the youngest got [...]

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Good Vibrations in the Afterlife

Monday, March 1st, 2010

When I die I want to be cremated And have my ashes Put in a dildo, For my widow To remember me by. I could fuck her After death If only I could find A combination Crematorium And sex shop.

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The Only Good Ism

Monday, March 1st, 2010

I don’t want Anarchism, Atheism, Agnosticism, Communism, Conservatism, Egoism, Deism, Fascism, Legalism, Liberalism, Nationalism, Populism, Positivism, Pragmatism, Scientism, Socialism, Spiritualism, Stoicism, or Transcendentalism. The only good ism is jism.

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The Best Business Plan Ever

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Had two new office managers, A man and a woman, Who were doing their first annual review, Where each agent would be asked About their goals for the year. And so Chuck, this supercool Motorcyle-riding real estate agent Was called in for his review. “What are your goals for the year?” he was asked. He [...]

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Mourning Judy

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Having been married for forty years I notice the stories people tell Of spouses’ deaths, How when the wife died, The husband died Within a week. I am sure too That if my darling Judy Were to die before me I would die Within a week. My heart couldn’t take The pain of the grief [...]

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